Cursed With Beauty (79)

Note to the incomplete stranger,
I'm back.

Twitter: @Florogue

If you are readers to my blog, please leave me a direct message.
I will always need motivation.

Love,
C.B.


Previously on Cursed With Beauty:

Amal:

We pause for a second when grandmother starts to tear up. I know she missed them so much, and that she'd rather have Mai and the baby close to us. It wasn't easy on anyone.

Saeed: 

To me, it just wasn't fair. All I wanted was to know whether Joojoo was okay, and I didn't even get the answer and I prayed it wasn't what I thought it was..

Khalid:

Khalfan Khalid, I liked the sound of it.

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Saeed:

One of those annoying weekend mornings my father had to wake me up for what I thought was a jog, turns out we were moving. 

"Come on, pack up." He opens the curtains. I open my eyes, but I see almost nothing.

I groan as I try to shake my head back to consciousness, it works. I feel my heart gripping with worry, it's as if something had stolen it. Anger fills my eyes with tears, but I hold them back. "What now?"
I get up lazily. "We're moving, come on!" He shouts.

The first thing I think of is to call Joojoo. She doesn't pick up. I called her father instead, and got the okay to come take her.
 
Right before I knock, the door opens. "Let's go" I say. "I'm not going anywhere." She tries to close the door, but instead slams the foot I placed in between. I saw a bit of surprise and a spark of anger in her eyes. "You're coming with me!" I raise my voice as she turns her back on me. Sometimes it's just not enough. I folllowed her inside to reason with her, but I was embarrassed when I saw her father who had been listenig to everything in the living room the whole time. "esalam 3alaikm 3amy.." I said with a broken voice.  Her father held on to her, against her will for sure. I knew my father would talk to him before I came around. "Where's the suitcase?" My father barges in to help.

My wife, wouldn't come with me, even if it meant risking her life, she'd fallen out of love with me.
"I'm sorry, this is for your own sake." I whisper in her ear as I struggle to get her into the car. She screamed, she kicked,  and she cried until I picked her up off her feet.

Someone's been spying on us for a while. Ever since my father got involved in arresting gangs, arresting one person meant having a whole group run after us. Our safety was at risk, yet all she thought about was staying away from me. The whole ride, I had her push me away as far as possible. It felt like having a child in the car, crying for a few minutes, screaming, which turns into more pushing and fighting. We reach a 5 star hotel in which we booked under false names.

As soon as we got the privacy of our own room, war began. "How dare you treat me like this!?" She tears up with anger. I held both her arms and pulled her to my face. "I don't give a fuck how I treat you, once this ends, I WANT YOU GONE!" I slap her hard across the face, wishing it brings her back to her senses.

I lay down in bed ignoring her completely, I knew she'd give in and come to bed eventually.

She left.

I walked around the room looking for her, knocked on the door like a maniac. She really was gone..
I ran to my father's room, and knocked loudly. As soon as he let me in, tears streamed down my face. God damn the things she makes me go through. "She's GONE!" He knew. He shrugged too. "Where is she?' I stop for a second. "She thought she could go to school." He laughed. They had her. "Then I'm going to school as well." His smile faded away.

"She's mine just as I am yours, please. Just let them take me." Why did he seem so surprised? "What about mom, where is she now?" he shrugged again! "In the arms of someone else, because you never cared about anyone but yourself."

He stopped me then, "I cared about you, and she cared about love. She's happy, and I'm perfectly happy raising you. Saeed, I am not losing you because of my job."

"Let me go to school, let them take me too, track me down, it's where she'll be.." I was hopeless..

He sighed okay.

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Previously:

Khalid's wife finally gives birth, but he doesn't remember his sister's name..
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Amal:

I reminisce the happy day that Khalid named Osha, we had just gone through the incident with Aisha. It was the first time a girl had such an impact on Khalid. Is it weird that he ended up marrying Aisha's sister? Maybe, but Mai's been all the characteristics Khalid lacked. She was in a way, his completion.
I'm not going to say they were perfect, their differences got in the way a few times, but it certainly made them stronger together.

I pity Khalid for all the precious memories he lost.. Will he ever gain them back? No one could tell..
after filling him in on who baby Osha was, and how she was named, we video chatted Khalid the next day.

"Okay Khalid, so it's a boy, what are you going to name him?' I start. "We aren't sure between my father or Mai's. We're thinking either Khalifa jr. or Marwan Jr." We pause for a second when grandmother starts to tear up. I know she missed them so much, and that she'd rather have Mai and the baby close to us. It wasn't easy on anyone.

Saeed:

It felt like this. I was a completely normal human being with others trying to convince me I was not normal. It got to a point where I believed that I was a dangerous person. On one of those 6 am jogs with my father, we took the time to talk about it. Was I insanely violent? At least I didn't think so..
To me, it just wasn't fair. All I wanted was to know whether Joojoo was okay, and I didn't even get the answer..

Frustration choked me. Was I ever going to get an answer? I never thought I'd be doubting Joojoo. Usually it was that she kept other people's secrets, not her own. I felt guilty about it. I knew it wasn't right to spy on her, I didn't, but the pain I went through jerked the tears out of me.  I wouldn't have cared if she weren't mine. Signed papers, and I've claimed territory. I prayed it wasn't what I thought it was..

Khalid:

We weren't allowed to stay in the hospital for long enough. Right after they taught her how to handle the baby with delicacy we were basically kicked out. Anna and Nicolas never left our side though. They often laughed at our ignorance, but it was alright. He often cried, loudly. There weren't many distincitve features to compare whether he resembled me or her more.
When we were off to work, Mr.Nicolas would drop Anna off at the hotel, and they'd spend time together until we were back again. Anna would often ask, what did you name him? We chose Khalfan. Not her father's name, nor mine. No more arguments. Khalfan Khalid, I liked the sound of it.

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Khalid:

I shifted from side to side whenever I heard Mai scream from the other room. "Push! Push!" Some french doctor would shout every two seconds. Mr. Nicolas and Anna, his wife, had just arrived. "Khalid!" Anna panicked. "Go to her! Help her!" "No thanks.." I was terrified. "She needs you now more than ever, Khalid. Go hold her hands." Mr. Nicolas pats my shoulder. I step inside and they dress me up in some kind of scrubs, face mask, and gloves.

As soon as I see her, I kiss her forehead while still wearing my face mask, and apologize for what she's going through. "Breathe, umm, I don't know!" "Tell her to push!" Her doctor shouts at me. "Okay, do that Mai!" Wait, PUSH WHAT! I pat the sweat on her forehead dry and she breathes heavily. " I.. I can't go on like this.. I can't.." She cries. "Come on Mai, you can, I promise you can. Please, for me.." One final wale, and it's out. A tiny human creature covered in blood and other things I really didn't understand.

He cried uncontrollably, and as soon as we heard his cry, we both cried along with him. He was wrapped up in a blue blanket and carefully placed in her arms.

Amal:

We got a call from Khalid! It's the greatest news I've heard in a while.. Is it impatiently through class, texting Khalid on how to create a Skype account.. When I got back from school, I texted him to set up the laptop so we can all see each other.  I sat with my grandmother and Osha on my lap as we video chatted. "Hey.. Who's that?" Khalid asks, pointing on his screen. Our smiles fade.. "Who do you mean? I'm Amal.." He chuckles. "I know that stupid, who's the kid on your lap?"
I look at my screen and I see Mai's worry obviously painted across her face..

I ended the video chat and got to my phone instead. "Your sister Khalid, you named her! How could you forget!" I texted him. "I'm sorry, I think I forgot, what's her name?" he replied.

This was frustrating, Mai should not have been alone with my brother, and yet there was no way I could get there.. They needed watching over.. 

Cursed With Beauty (77)

To the Readers:
It's a struggle to pull the words out of me, I know exactly what I want to happen, I just don't know how to let you know. Writing about the wounds was just as torturous as experiencing them.. Apologies for the lack of courage.. Still hopeful <3!

Saeed:

Looking at JooJoo, I felt kind of betrayed. She could keep all the secrets she'd like, but not something that concerns us. She sat on the corner of the couch with her arms crossed. She looked everywhere except at me. Impatient, I placed my hand on the back of her knee and pulled her so she was laying down on the couch. In one move, I punch the couch right beside her head. "TALK!" I shouted when she closed her eyes to avoid confronting me.
I was furious, but she wasn't going to say anything. Frustrated, I look up only to find the librarian ready to kick me out. I held my head from exploding. I lost my temper and the only way I managed was to flip the tables I came across on my way out. I was also directed to principle's office after that.

After some calming down, my father had dragged me to a counsler. At his office, I wrestle my father trying to get out. " I don't need this, I'm not crazy." I struggle to get out of father's grip. "Let me go!" He threatens and slams the door behind him.

"Hello Saeed." He starts. "Don't look at me like that." I order. "You have 45 minutes, if you'd like to lie them down silently you can." "How could you ever help me." "I can't if you won't communicate properly.." He fixes his tie and smoothly seats himself. "You can either let me help, or you can go on this way, your choice completely."

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Cursed With Beauty (76)

Epiphanies:
Having been through quiet a bit, I'm coming back with a deeper understanding of my purpose to share my story with you.
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Previously:

Saeed: "Can you please tell me something? Have I done you wrong?"

Amal:
Dalal was the kind of girl with great looks, and grades, but her social life? No one really knew much about her.

Khalid:
Her hands won't let go of mine, I didn't want to let go either.
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Khalid:

"Could you please remember to put your clothes in the basket Khalid?"

I see Mai trying to reach down to grab my shirt. "Sit down, I'll do that in a second."
"It's as if I have to teach you everything all over again!" She seemed frustrated. I help her to the closest chair. " Hey, calm down, I'll do anything you want me to, just relax.." She inhales her tears away, and my heart grips. "Mai come on!" I pick the shirt up and throw it in the basket. "Come on let's go down, they're probably close.

We meet Mr. Nicolas and Anna, his wife. Mai definitely needed another woman to talk to after all this time being locked up in the hotel room. Mr. Nicolas was a grumpy french guy whose belly seemed to start swelling as if Mai's condition. Anna on the other hand was the complete opposite. She seemed so lively that, without her, I concluded that Mr. Nicolas would've died of negativity.
The first discussion over dinner came about were children. Anna seemed to have so many good tips to share with Mai. "Any idea how you handle that?" I whispered to Mr.Nicolas. "Buy a sofabed in the livingroom, oh, and college funds." "That's it?" I wonder. "Yup, that's almost it."

After a great dinner, we go out for a walk around the city. Anna and Mai instantly clicked, walking around arm in arm while windowshopping. "She's a beautiful woman you have, Khalid!" I smirk. "I guess so. I don't know how I got so lucky." I didn't remember either, I guess the smirk disappeared along with that.
"That doesn't matter though, the question is how are you planning on keeping her?" I pause for a second.
"Wait, how do I do that?" He chuckles at my ignorance. "She's here now because you need her. The two of you all alone in Paris? Of course she does too, but once you're home again, always give her a reason to need you."

Amal:

I sit around my friends as they chat and I start to zone out, I bring myself out of this point of view into a stranger's. Salma's laying her head down on my lap, Joojoo gossiping, Dalal's gasping at what she's hearing, and then there's me, appreciating the sight that is my friends. "Sit up Salma, the boys are coming." She sits up to fix her shaila. Shy as usual, she pulls on her long sleeves to cover her hands, it's so weird how she's changed.
Saeed, 7amad, and someone else who made my heart skip a beat walk up to us.
Saeed approaches us, and I thought he'd call Salma, or Joojoo out, but he called my name. "Yeah?"
Joojoo's curious, I could tell. "Come to the library." He knew she was listening too.

"There's something very wrong with Joojoo, what is it?" authorative, very angry Saeed begins. "I don't really know.." I shrug. "She's been acting so secretive, and not her gossip kind of secrets, there's something wrong,  I can feel it in my gut."
"Why don't you just ask her? Don't walk around it, face it." "I'm trying, but she's not saying anything, and apparently, not to anyone. I'm having nightmares Amal, help me out."

"Calm down, she's your wife you know. Talk to her, there's only so much I can do." I didn't want to be a part of it, but he seemed so frustrated.."Well, I.." I hear the library's huge door creak. "Hey!" Joojoo hugs Saeed. "What's going on?" The curiousity is killing her.
Saeed pulls her away, then walks away.
"Saeed come back." He stopped. "Sit down, talk. Joojoo, speak up, but I have nothing to do with this." I walked away.

Cursed With Beauty (75)

Previously:

Khalid: "I don't remember marrying you to remember what I wore that night."

Amal:
"The only difference is that you know he likes you back.." What..?

Saeed: I decide to ask Joojoo where she'd like to study later on. "America." She replies.. I remember that Saif, my friend and her ex, moved there about a year or two ago

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Saeed:

With the second semester's report card in hand, it's an average of 95.5.. This mark meant a lot of opportunities. "How much did you get, Joojoo?" Joojoo stares passively at her report card. "75." She throws it on the table.
"I thought we agreed on America? You really have to study harder.."
"Don't judge me academically! I do what I can."
She's been so short tempered, I had to stop talking, I couldn't..

I pulled her from her arm and into my embrace. "Look me in my eyes." I order her, she looks away. "What's wrong?" She shrugs my question off..

"Can you please tell me something? Have I done you wrong?" She pushes me away & leaves. I begin to worry..

Amal:
I kept thinking about what 7amad said.. "The only difference is that you know he likes you back.." He does? One of my fears was that it was just an illusion, that I overthought the things that happened..
I sunk into the library's couch while I read a book 7amad had mentioned.

Joojoo, Salma, and Dalal join me.
"For once, I honestly just want to finish reading this book, can I trust you will support me with this mission?"

Joojoo and Salma giggle, then leave. I stare blankly at Dalal. She sits down calmly, pulls out her textbooks, and starts taking notes.
Thin, tall, elegant, & delicate, she was the kind of female men would write poems about. There was something about the size of her wrists that caught my attention every time. She was so thin that even the bracelets she wore were the size of a child's. Round eyes, sharp nose, & narrow, pouty lips. She really was a whole new standard of what I would call beauty.

"What's wrong?" She notices my eyes studying her. "We have a quiz, don't we?" I succeed to make something up. "I just can't trust the teacher with my grades."

She was the kind of girl with great looks, and grades, but her social life? No one really knew much about her. I started to wonder.

Khalid:

I guess I had to live with it, Mai was beautiful, and she did her job perfectly. I had nothing to complain about, except that baby I still wasn't sure I wanted.. I come back from work, and I noticed Mai was bored.
"I invited a colleague and his wife over for dinner tonight, you're okay with that, right?"

"Really?! Is it a meeting or something?" Her face glows with excitement.
"No, I just thought you wanted to meet new people.."
"I do! Thank you!" She kisses me on the cheek.
"Was I allowed to do that too?"
I notice her blush. My face burned, so blunt... "Never mind.."
"You were.." She comes closer, exposing her cheeks to me. My lips barely touch her skin, but I back away. When I notice the disappointed look on her face, I couldn't resist. I surprise her with another one.
"I'm going to get ready." She giggles shyly, but her hands won't let go of mine, I didn't want to let go either..

Cursed With Beauty (74)

Previously:

Khalid: I love you Mai..

Saeed: I decide to ask Joojoo where she'd like to study later on. "America." She replies.. I remember that Saif, my friend and her ex, moved there about a year or two ago.
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Khalid:
I woke up embarrassed from the night before, Mai was still sleeping when I got up for work. By the time I suited up, Mai was alarmed. I don't know if I was loud, or if it was the baby.

Around Mai, I feel clumsy. Whenever she looks at me, I lose my balance. I stiffly walk to the closet to pull out a tie, failing to act cool and confident. I walk back to the mirror to brush my hair to the side and fix my tie. The mirror reflected Mai, which was distracting. I saw her eyeing me with my tie, and I struggled to put it on.

"Let me help you." She suggested. "I'm fine, I won't wear a tie today."
I stop to look at her reflection struggling to get off the bed.
"Don't move, I'll come to you.." I guess I gave up. She sat by the bed, and I was on my knees before her. It was so awkward that my shyness burned my face red, I felt it.
"You look good in a suit and tie, you should've worn a suit to our wedding."
"I don't remember marrying you to remember what I wore that night."

The dorky grin disappeared from her face, she subtly shook her head back to reality. "Do you regret it?" She stood up, holding her baby bump, as if hugging it apologetically. It was such a sad sight to see, she looked lonely, and fragile. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to hug her, but not touch the baby bump.

The first thought that came to my mind was, it was too late to regret anything. "No." I whisper, my voice sounds too confident, almost insincere. "But..?" Mai demands truth. "I just wish I got the chance to get to know you better, before a baby comes between us." "Khalid, this baby is yours too.. It'll need you more than I do."
I start to feel offended. A couple of days ago I was living my life carefree, and then I'm suddenly responsible for two souls with one visit from my family. What am I going to do with a baby?
"I'm sorry you have to go through this Mai, I just don't remember how I was involved in this."

Amal:

I stood in front of the school gates and focused on every single detail. I missed school. I missed someone in school. The search began.

"Amal!" Joojoo hugs me from behind, Salma runs across the hall to join us. We sit at the nearest bench and I give out souvenirs. "Joojoo, I want you to give this to Saeed, they're just some T-shirts. Salma, give those to 7amad."

"Why me!?" Salma protests, but she takes the gift bag with her.
"Salma there he is! Run!" Joojoo points out, he doesn't notice us until Salma calls his name.

"Amal! You're back!" I stand up just to greet him, but he takes me into his embrace. What the hell!? "I missed you.." He breathes into my neck. I try to break free, he hugs me tighter, and lifts me off the floor.

I look at Joojoo, whose jaw is on the floor, and Salma's eyes are burning mad. "Let me go 7amad.."
He listens, then turns to look at Salma. "What's wrong?" He grins, then I understand. He's teasing her.
"Is this how you prove you like a girl?" She seems surprised, in shock maybe, she raises her hands up. she doesn't want to argue about it, so she left us there standing.

"7amad! You messed up!" His fun self disappears, and he pouts. I don't think he realized he was pouting, his eyes wide and sad, it was heart breaking to see. "Come, we'll get some coffee and head to the library. We can talk about this there."
In the library, the librarian suspects we're on a date, I pull out the closest algebra textbook and start solving whatever lesson I found I knew. He starts "I don't know what to do with her! No flowers, no gifts, no nothing makes her understand.. She's not even thinking about me Amal!"
"Maybe she doesn't need flowers or gifts." I guess. "What would she need? Help me Amal!" His face buried in his hands, he seems so desperate. "It's alright 7amad, I'll try To help, okay?" I try to reassure him. "Amal, what are you solving?" "The librarian is giving me death glares.." He laughs, and it seems I was able to change his mood somehow. I stare as his expression softens, and his handsome face relaxes. "I don't know how she's resisting you." I confess. "And you wouldn't!?" He teases. "Come on, you know me. There's one person in my head and it frustrates me enough." I sigh.
"The only difference is that you know he likes you back.."
What?