Woman: My name is Aishah, I came here with my friend. I don't know him by the way!
Me: You don't say? Jk, I trust my brother.
Her voice sounded like she was holding down a cry, I was shakey. We were all freaking out.
A cop ran to him when some people pointed them out. The man had been arrested, Khalid was quickly questioned about what happened.
Khalid got back into his car, and sighed a huge one.
Khalid: I had to give them my name and number. I can't be in trouble since all did was defend myself, but that was NOT fun.
When he didn't find me on the seat next to him, he turned around but saw Aishah first. He turned back expecting her to get back to her friend's car.
Me: Wait! If she gets to the car, people will assume things. Things we don't want them thinking.
They both didn't get it..
I continued:
KHALID THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE DATING.
They panicked.
Me: We have to drop you off at your house, this place is filled with people, you won't get away with it.
Aishah: No! I can't, my friend will be waiting for me.
Me: I'm so sorry, but I bet you know what could happen. We can't let it! We'll drop you off.
Aishah: I can't just tell you where our house is! You're total strangers and I'm trusting you with myself already!
Me: No! Okay.. Umm I'm Amal, my father's name is Khalifa Al x! If we did anything wrong, you've got our names.
Aishah: I've heard this name before.. My dad was talking to me about him earlier today I think!
Me: Good, so we're NOT strangers!
Aishah: I guess I really don't have a choice.
She told Khalid where her house was through me. They both got all shy and awkward.
Infront of her house..
Khalid: Amal!
Me: yes?
Khalid: *whispers* this is Mr. Marwan's car. My boss!!!
Me: Aishah is your father called Marwan?
Khalid: *whispers* No! Amaaal
Aishah: Yes!
Khalid: Here he comes then..
Khalid got down, we saw as 3amy Marwan's smile turned upside down. Aishah got down and walked to her father hesitantly. I then fixed my dress up, and followed her.
Khalid explained what had happened, when 3amy Marwan was about to punish Aishah I tried to step in.
I fixed my abaya, trying to cover my bare feet.
Me: 3amy..
Friday, December 23, 2011
Cursed With Beauty (7)
Amal:
Suddenly, Khalid stopped at Starbucks' drive thru..
Me: Hahahahaha! I don't know what you're up to, but I'll have a cheesecake and a caramel frappe!
Khalid: What's so funny! It's a new place, be grateful I'm taking you here.
We ordered, grabbed our food, and parked at JBR to enjoy it there.
Khalid: lay low, the windows are tinted. Here you can spot the hottest cars in the city.
I concluded that a car to a guy is like a pair of shoes to a girl. They may like a lot of them, but not necessarily own them all.
As Khalid and I ate, a young, pretty woman wearing her shailah right, walked by. She was laughing with her friend, who seemed to have forgotten something, as she went back to wherever they'd been. The pretty woman waited by the passenger seat's door of a bmw. Khalid looked away out of respect.
A guy approached her, walking unsteadily, & his eyes didn't seem to focus on one thing. He started talking to her.
She had a worried look on her face, and held the handle of the car tightly, but he started to get closer.
Me: Khalid..
I said terrified.
.. He's drunk Khalid!
Khalid got out of the car quickly to see what was going on. Khalid pushed the man, losing balance the man fell.
Stranger: You know her?
Khalid: She's.. She's my sister, get away from her!
Families are a sensitive case to guys, but if Khalid had claimed it was his sister, the man wouldn't necessarily back down since she was still available.
Good lie, thought through, but when the voices were raised, it caught attention. I took my heels off to jump to the back seat, I opened the door slowly to whisper to the girl.
Me: Hey, jump in, quick!
Woman: Who are you? Why should I?
Me: Just trust me, you have no choice.
And so, she hopped in, closing the door behind me. Khalid was trying to talk it out, but the drunk man was ready to start a brawl.
Me: I'm Khalid's sister, and if people notice you there words will spread. Lay low.
Khalid held the man down.
Woman: My name is...
Suddenly, Khalid stopped at Starbucks' drive thru..
Me: Hahahahaha! I don't know what you're up to, but I'll have a cheesecake and a caramel frappe!
Khalid: What's so funny! It's a new place, be grateful I'm taking you here.
We ordered, grabbed our food, and parked at JBR to enjoy it there.
Khalid: lay low, the windows are tinted. Here you can spot the hottest cars in the city.
I concluded that a car to a guy is like a pair of shoes to a girl. They may like a lot of them, but not necessarily own them all.
As Khalid and I ate, a young, pretty woman wearing her shailah right, walked by. She was laughing with her friend, who seemed to have forgotten something, as she went back to wherever they'd been. The pretty woman waited by the passenger seat's door of a bmw. Khalid looked away out of respect.
A guy approached her, walking unsteadily, & his eyes didn't seem to focus on one thing. He started talking to her.
She had a worried look on her face, and held the handle of the car tightly, but he started to get closer.
Me: Khalid..
I said terrified.
.. He's drunk Khalid!
Khalid got out of the car quickly to see what was going on. Khalid pushed the man, losing balance the man fell.
Stranger: You know her?
Khalid: She's.. She's my sister, get away from her!
Families are a sensitive case to guys, but if Khalid had claimed it was his sister, the man wouldn't necessarily back down since she was still available.
Good lie, thought through, but when the voices were raised, it caught attention. I took my heels off to jump to the back seat, I opened the door slowly to whisper to the girl.
Me: Hey, jump in, quick!
Woman: Who are you? Why should I?
Me: Just trust me, you have no choice.
And so, she hopped in, closing the door behind me. Khalid was trying to talk it out, but the drunk man was ready to start a brawl.
Me: I'm Khalid's sister, and if people notice you there words will spread. Lay low.
Khalid held the man down.
Woman: My name is...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Cursed With Beauty (6)
It was about 5 p.m. Father knocked on my door and reminded me about that dinner he promised earlier, he wished that I'd dress up a bit for it.
I opened my closet to check up on what I was going to wear. A black sleevless wrap dress that reached right above my ankle, dark red heels, and my gold vintage Cartier watch.
The sleevless dress was going to be covered up by a abaya I'd ordered from Bahrain.
I got my dress, shaila, and abaya out, sprayed a bit of perfume. While enjoying my bubble bath, I Heard noise at the living room. I got worried.
I jumped out and got into a random T shirt with pj pants. I ran out only to see my father heading out the door barefoot with mom infront of him.
Me: What happened!? What's wrong?
Khalid: Mom's giving birth, calm down there's nothing to worry about..
Me: Should this happen? I mean, is it normal? Ummm, when do we get to see her?
Exhausted from asking questions, I sat down to relax, realizing I was wet from head to toe.
Khalid: It's not normal at all!
He watched as my jaw dropped.
Khalid: I'm kidding! What!? Did you expect the baby was just going to live in her?
Well, I had no problem with that happening!
Khalid: Don't worry, Father is going to call if we're needed.
Me: Mom's giving birth and you're just sitting here like she'll just come back with our dinner or something!
Khalid: A dinner I was supposed to be enjoying right now! What a sudden change of plans!
He shook his head in disappointment, as if I was to be blamed.
Me: Seriously? Food is what you're worried about?
He sighed.
Khalid: Fine, get dressed, I'll take you out for dinner tonight.Waiting around doing nothing will be harder than waiting around while you're occupied, go now.
I went to my room to get ready, after that Khalid took me out..
Khalid: Why'd you dress up this much? What is this abaya?! What's with the shoes? Who are you dressed up for?
Me: I don't know, this was what I was going to wear tonight.. Besides you haven't told me about where we're going, or else I would've been wearing something suitable
Khalid: I don't know what to tell you, but I don't want you grabbing attention.
Khalid:
I always knew my little sister was a beauty. Seeing her dressed up made me worry sick most of the times. I took her out, and drove her around, and I always kept my eyes on her. She was my treasure, I always wished I could just hide her away. I never thought anyone was worthy.
Me: Okay, where I'm taking you to eat tonight is fancier than where we were going to, so act properly.
Amal: okay?
So, I pulled over..
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Cursed With Beauty (5)
I ran upstairs to mom, who had been in bed for so long. It seemed that going down the stairs was hard enough for her, and so she did not leave her suite.
Me: Mom..?
She gave me a questioning look
Me: mom, what did Khalid tell you?
Mom: Khalid wants a wife while I'm this sick in bed! Can he get any more inconsiderate?
She said jokingly.
Me: hahahah! Didn't he ask for specifics? Anything?
Mom: hmm, someone who'll be there to greet him after work. Someone calm and sweet.
Me: Any physical features?
Mom: she has to have fair skin, black, long hair. Not necessarily thin, but healthy to say the least.
So that was what mom could tell me, after that I sat down by her tummy, and chatted with the little creature inside.
The next day I woke up, and found a couple of boxes on my bedside. I got out of bed, freshened up, and ran out my room. Dad had come back from his trip! His business deal went through smoothly and he wanted to take us to dinner later that day. After welcoming him back, he went to rest in their room, and I went back into my room.
I sat on the sofa and started tweeting, so many events made me compress my emotions, and I felt the need to tweet!
I got more mentions from Saif. I ignored him to the point he felt the need to send me direct messages, suddenly admitting his love for me.
At that point it had to end, I replied to him, telling him the cold truth. There was and will never be something going on between us. I may have been harsh, but for him to think that I'd stoop low for him hurt. Had he no respect towards me, did he not consider my feelings? Those questions circulated in my head, making my anger stronger by the second.
When I realized how bad it went, I had to clean up after my explosion. I apologized sincerely, and also stated strongly that there's much more to love than mentions or replies, but then it got worse. He began telling me about how I won't find someone like him, how he's different, how he's willing to do anything for me. It all shocked me, how he was going to give up all he had just for me to only accept his feelings?
Well, at that moment when I had decided to reject him, curiosity hit me. " Why would you love someone like me? What have I ever done?"
A lot of questions, but after sending, there was no turning back. Maybe something would clear it up for me..
Me: Mom..?
She gave me a questioning look
Me: mom, what did Khalid tell you?
Mom: Khalid wants a wife while I'm this sick in bed! Can he get any more inconsiderate?
She said jokingly.
Me: hahahah! Didn't he ask for specifics? Anything?
Mom: hmm, someone who'll be there to greet him after work. Someone calm and sweet.
Me: Any physical features?
Mom: she has to have fair skin, black, long hair. Not necessarily thin, but healthy to say the least.
So that was what mom could tell me, after that I sat down by her tummy, and chatted with the little creature inside.
The next day I woke up, and found a couple of boxes on my bedside. I got out of bed, freshened up, and ran out my room. Dad had come back from his trip! His business deal went through smoothly and he wanted to take us to dinner later that day. After welcoming him back, he went to rest in their room, and I went back into my room.
I sat on the sofa and started tweeting, so many events made me compress my emotions, and I felt the need to tweet!
I got more mentions from Saif. I ignored him to the point he felt the need to send me direct messages, suddenly admitting his love for me.
At that point it had to end, I replied to him, telling him the cold truth. There was and will never be something going on between us. I may have been harsh, but for him to think that I'd stoop low for him hurt. Had he no respect towards me, did he not consider my feelings? Those questions circulated in my head, making my anger stronger by the second.
When I realized how bad it went, I had to clean up after my explosion. I apologized sincerely, and also stated strongly that there's much more to love than mentions or replies, but then it got worse. He began telling me about how I won't find someone like him, how he's different, how he's willing to do anything for me. It all shocked me, how he was going to give up all he had just for me to only accept his feelings?
Well, at that moment when I had decided to reject him, curiosity hit me. " Why would you love someone like me? What have I ever done?"
A lot of questions, but after sending, there was no turning back. Maybe something would clear it up for me..
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Cursed With Beauty (4)
When I was 5, Father bought me and Khalid 2 movies, mine had to do with something about princesses, and Khalid got a Lion King movie. While mine remained perfectly sealed, I watched Lion King almost twice daily. Khalid even gave me the tape just to stop bothering him.
My favorite part was how Kovu and Ciara met after he was exiled from the pride. "Love will find a way" and they depended on love and their natural instincts to find each other. Ciara stepped away from her family fought literal war, just so that her father would accept Kovu to be with her.
That movie had a great impact on me, I promised myself that if it was real love, it truly will find a way. That promise made it so easy on me.
When it came to love, I never took the matter into my own hands. I believed in love at first sight, I believed love existed, but here I knew it, arranged marriage was only fate.
No one ever met before getting married here, and girls who have tried dating never got married. It set shame upon a family for that to happen! Even though the younger generation take it much more lightly.
Fact was, I had my own Kovu, we were both still holding on, both against dating, I really did hold on to believing that love will find a way. In some twisted way, it did..
Kovu was that one person, who had been connected to me, mind and soul. I never spoke a word to him, yet I knew everything I needed to know.
After countless praying, in hopes of God protecting dear Kovu from harm, God taught me all I ever wished to know about him without a word being spoken.
The relationship was.. Visionary? Since all I had to do was look into his eyes, and I saw everything he had to say in 2 seconds. Those 2 seconds built an entire conversation, the rest was left to our imagination.
A relationship like that was beautiful, our imagination left us saying all we expected to say to each other. No arguments or fights, no problems, no shame to be set upon both families.
Every school day was such a delight to wake up to, knowing that on my way to class, he will be, as always sitting on the bench, either having breakfast, studying, or wearing his socks after his driver had gotten upset that he did not wear his shoes before leaving the house.
I've always called him kovu, the first reason is to drag anyone far away from his real name, second was it was a cover up story, so I can say that I admire the character, the type that would fight for the one he loves.
And that was my Kovu..
That's why I didn't care about what Saif had to say to me, I just threw my phone on the bed and went to the living room. I saw Khalid sitting there, he seemed lazy, like he just had lunch. I went and sat beside him, then gave him a big hug.
Khalid was a very calm guy, never in anyone's business, and never did he talk much.
Khalid: what's up with you!?
Me: I haven't seen my father since so long, I missed him!
Khalid: I just had my lunch, I warn you! I'd burp at any moment
Me: Khaaaliiiiiddd!!
Khalid: I'm just kidding!
And he gave me the biggest hug <3
Me: May God be with your wife, you kill any kind of romance.
I thought out loud by mistake, killing the moment.
Khalid: Wait, what?
Me: What? Nothing! I said nothing.
Khalid: Mother told you?
Me: Told me what?
Khalid: What? Nothing! I said nothing.
Unfair!!! That was my move, & what did mother not tell me!? As I wondered, he got up and went to his room. What was that all about!?
My favorite part was how Kovu and Ciara met after he was exiled from the pride. "Love will find a way" and they depended on love and their natural instincts to find each other. Ciara stepped away from her family fought literal war, just so that her father would accept Kovu to be with her.
That movie had a great impact on me, I promised myself that if it was real love, it truly will find a way. That promise made it so easy on me.
When it came to love, I never took the matter into my own hands. I believed in love at first sight, I believed love existed, but here I knew it, arranged marriage was only fate.
No one ever met before getting married here, and girls who have tried dating never got married. It set shame upon a family for that to happen! Even though the younger generation take it much more lightly.
Fact was, I had my own Kovu, we were both still holding on, both against dating, I really did hold on to believing that love will find a way. In some twisted way, it did..
Kovu was that one person, who had been connected to me, mind and soul. I never spoke a word to him, yet I knew everything I needed to know.
After countless praying, in hopes of God protecting dear Kovu from harm, God taught me all I ever wished to know about him without a word being spoken.
The relationship was.. Visionary? Since all I had to do was look into his eyes, and I saw everything he had to say in 2 seconds. Those 2 seconds built an entire conversation, the rest was left to our imagination.
A relationship like that was beautiful, our imagination left us saying all we expected to say to each other. No arguments or fights, no problems, no shame to be set upon both families.
Every school day was such a delight to wake up to, knowing that on my way to class, he will be, as always sitting on the bench, either having breakfast, studying, or wearing his socks after his driver had gotten upset that he did not wear his shoes before leaving the house.
I've always called him kovu, the first reason is to drag anyone far away from his real name, second was it was a cover up story, so I can say that I admire the character, the type that would fight for the one he loves.
And that was my Kovu..
That's why I didn't care about what Saif had to say to me, I just threw my phone on the bed and went to the living room. I saw Khalid sitting there, he seemed lazy, like he just had lunch. I went and sat beside him, then gave him a big hug.
Khalid was a very calm guy, never in anyone's business, and never did he talk much.
Khalid: what's up with you!?
Me: I haven't seen my father since so long, I missed him!
Khalid: I just had my lunch, I warn you! I'd burp at any moment
Me: Khaaaliiiiiddd!!
Khalid: I'm just kidding!
And he gave me the biggest hug <3
Me: May God be with your wife, you kill any kind of romance.
I thought out loud by mistake, killing the moment.
Khalid: Wait, what?
Me: What? Nothing! I said nothing.
Khalid: Mother told you?
Me: Told me what?
Khalid: What? Nothing! I said nothing.
Unfair!!! That was my move, & what did mother not tell me!? As I wondered, he got up and went to his room. What was that all about!?
Cursed With Beauty (3)
I didnt dare speak to her, as much as I wanted to comfort her, hug her, explain to her, my tongue remained tied, my eyes did not look away from the ground, my hands covering my head from exploding, my face, as red as a red face ever was.
I wanted nothing to do with her, even though never was it my intention to hurt anyone because of my dancing.
She left the room, Wiping away her tears, the look of pain in her eyes as I covered my face away from her.
Closing the door behind her, I threw myself on the floor, my legs in my shirt and hands holding myself tight from breaking to pieces.
I had no heart to get out of my room that entire week, my food was brought to my room. I had not gotten out, nor had I seen grandmother. My door was locked, I sat in a corner, reading books. It wasnt really about intelligence as much as it was about hiding my face away from myself.
I knew, that dancing was a way for me to express myself, the way others would paint, write poetry, take pictures, or create something that may tell how they feel. To me, dancing was never different. Their stone-age thinking did not affect me, but I worried about grandmother's respect for me, and how she expected that I was a mature, sane lady.
When I finally got over it, I got into a jalabyh, wore some of the gold jewelery my mother handed down to me, and braided my long hair just the way grandmother liked it.
I came out of the room, and was stared at as if an alien they had just seen. Grandmother was in the living room, looking away I went to the kitchen, made a Dallah of tea, and another of coffe. I cut some fruits and got out a small covered bowl of dates. I served everything on the living room's coffee table, and I started organizing everything the exact way grandmother had done it ever since I could remember.
I then sat on my knees infront of her, looking down. She knew I was asking for forgivness. She held my hands, and held them both as if a treasure were in her hands, all the tears I hid came down my face as I got up and hugged her silently.
I got her blessings, kissed her on the forehead and sat silently in front of her as she pushed away the fringe covering my teary eyes. "They don't know" she whispered. "They don't need to, but this is not you. This is not what you are supposed to be, you're bigger." she continued. I looked into her eyes as my head filled with questions I needed to be answered. "If you think this is what will help you find yourself, then I will not interrupt. No one has the right to tell you who you are, I know you're being built now, I know you're becoming stronger. And child all I wish is for God to lead you the right way!"
Accepted by family, even with what they don't believe in. What more of a family can I ask for. Amazed, that grandmother did not ask me to stop dancing, thinking I'll find myself through this, I was not hated because of this. I learned how strong a family's unconditional love was that day..
The next day, I woke up to a mention from Saif. Though he's been flirty, it never really interested me. As I was never really into that. Even though I could've been, as to being able to see him everytime I'd go to school, I knew someone else will be waiting there for me.. Kovu
I wanted nothing to do with her, even though never was it my intention to hurt anyone because of my dancing.
She left the room, Wiping away her tears, the look of pain in her eyes as I covered my face away from her.
Closing the door behind her, I threw myself on the floor, my legs in my shirt and hands holding myself tight from breaking to pieces.
I had no heart to get out of my room that entire week, my food was brought to my room. I had not gotten out, nor had I seen grandmother. My door was locked, I sat in a corner, reading books. It wasnt really about intelligence as much as it was about hiding my face away from myself.
I knew, that dancing was a way for me to express myself, the way others would paint, write poetry, take pictures, or create something that may tell how they feel. To me, dancing was never different. Their stone-age thinking did not affect me, but I worried about grandmother's respect for me, and how she expected that I was a mature, sane lady.
When I finally got over it, I got into a jalabyh, wore some of the gold jewelery my mother handed down to me, and braided my long hair just the way grandmother liked it.
I came out of the room, and was stared at as if an alien they had just seen. Grandmother was in the living room, looking away I went to the kitchen, made a Dallah of tea, and another of coffe. I cut some fruits and got out a small covered bowl of dates. I served everything on the living room's coffee table, and I started organizing everything the exact way grandmother had done it ever since I could remember.
I then sat on my knees infront of her, looking down. She knew I was asking for forgivness. She held my hands, and held them both as if a treasure were in her hands, all the tears I hid came down my face as I got up and hugged her silently.
I got her blessings, kissed her on the forehead and sat silently in front of her as she pushed away the fringe covering my teary eyes. "They don't know" she whispered. "They don't need to, but this is not you. This is not what you are supposed to be, you're bigger." she continued. I looked into her eyes as my head filled with questions I needed to be answered. "If you think this is what will help you find yourself, then I will not interrupt. No one has the right to tell you who you are, I know you're being built now, I know you're becoming stronger. And child all I wish is for God to lead you the right way!"
Accepted by family, even with what they don't believe in. What more of a family can I ask for. Amazed, that grandmother did not ask me to stop dancing, thinking I'll find myself through this, I was not hated because of this. I learned how strong a family's unconditional love was that day..
The next day, I woke up to a mention from Saif. Though he's been flirty, it never really interested me. As I was never really into that. Even though I could've been, as to being able to see him everytime I'd go to school, I knew someone else will be waiting there for me.. Kovu
Friday, December 2, 2011
Cursed With Beauty (2)
Freaked out, I threw my phone away. I wasn't the smartest way to start a my day, but I thought making my bed and helping grandmother with setting breakfast would get my mind off of it. I wore a Jalabyh and combed my hair up to avoid grandmother Hamda's "morning messy hair" lectures. In the kitchen, mother was setting the table, but I asked her to sit down and I took over.
Ever since I was told that mother was pregnant, I felt a great deal of responsibility will be loaded on me. My childish behaviour will not be accepted anymore, but I won't mind sharing mother's attention with the baby currently in her tummy.
I knew things will not be the same, I may have been just fifteen, a time where everything's so confusing, but how I treated mom and reacted to her had changed already. I wondered how much I'll change because of this baby.
I sat down next to mother and grandmother, then came in Khalid, my older brother, who had also just come back from a short yacht trip with his friends. We all sat down to have our lunch and with "Bsmllah" we all began.
Father was still on his business trip, but if everything worked out, he said that great rewards await him. We got used to calling him every afternoon, and today was no different.
I went back to my room, turned on my laptop, and searched a couple of new songs I heard on the radio. The music video included some belly dancing, which seemed impressive at the time And so, that lead me to a wider range of dances and choreography.
I started to lock the door to my room and watch videos, spending hours just learning new moves. After that, the laptop was no longer needed. A song would play and my own moves were created.
It became easier for me to express a song in my own way. The problem was, in our community, dancing was shameful. It was not art, self expression, nor was it respected. My passion for dancing had to remain between myself and I.
Weeks later, my dancing started improving, my figure started to show. My stretching and dancing made my abs go flat, my legs were stronger, and a well-sized butt has formed.
Noticing my fitness changing made me grow aware of my food habits, water was a big part of my daily intake, I studied the topic online. The internet contained more information than I expected, but it didn't stop there, nutrition books filled the shelves in my room. With all this new information, my knowledge, and energy increased.
Mother had noticed the change in the way I had my lunch, chicken with no rice what so ever, which was weird where I lived, as almost all lunches included rice. Instead, vegetables filled my plate, and juice instead of soft drinks to end it all. As any other mother, she thought I was on a diet. Self conscious maybe, she started questioning how my body rapidly changed in a matter of weeks.
I was much more informed and well aware of why she was concerned, but everything I had was natural. She just did not know about my dancing.
A day came, where mother was out with Khalid for a check up, I believe. It was an advantage for me, I headed straight to my room, got into shorts, socks, and my dancing began. The sound through the headphones was so high, it made me focus more on what the song would mean.
Suddenly, grandmother came in. Her shock of me being in shorts, dancing, it made her furious. She came in and pulled my hair, she slapped me and sat down crying on my bed. I was on my knees, looking down in humiliation, I Did not even have the guts to make eye contact, my hands covering my ears, her crying pierced through my heart.
She came off the bed, put my head to her chest. All I heard was her heart beats, tears came down my face. I never wished for her to see me like this, this was never my intention..
Ever since I was told that mother was pregnant, I felt a great deal of responsibility will be loaded on me. My childish behaviour will not be accepted anymore, but I won't mind sharing mother's attention with the baby currently in her tummy.
I knew things will not be the same, I may have been just fifteen, a time where everything's so confusing, but how I treated mom and reacted to her had changed already. I wondered how much I'll change because of this baby.
I sat down next to mother and grandmother, then came in Khalid, my older brother, who had also just come back from a short yacht trip with his friends. We all sat down to have our lunch and with "Bsmllah" we all began.
Father was still on his business trip, but if everything worked out, he said that great rewards await him. We got used to calling him every afternoon, and today was no different.
I went back to my room, turned on my laptop, and searched a couple of new songs I heard on the radio. The music video included some belly dancing, which seemed impressive at the time And so, that lead me to a wider range of dances and choreography.
I started to lock the door to my room and watch videos, spending hours just learning new moves. After that, the laptop was no longer needed. A song would play and my own moves were created.
It became easier for me to express a song in my own way. The problem was, in our community, dancing was shameful. It was not art, self expression, nor was it respected. My passion for dancing had to remain between myself and I.
Weeks later, my dancing started improving, my figure started to show. My stretching and dancing made my abs go flat, my legs were stronger, and a well-sized butt has formed.
Noticing my fitness changing made me grow aware of my food habits, water was a big part of my daily intake, I studied the topic online. The internet contained more information than I expected, but it didn't stop there, nutrition books filled the shelves in my room. With all this new information, my knowledge, and energy increased.
Mother had noticed the change in the way I had my lunch, chicken with no rice what so ever, which was weird where I lived, as almost all lunches included rice. Instead, vegetables filled my plate, and juice instead of soft drinks to end it all. As any other mother, she thought I was on a diet. Self conscious maybe, she started questioning how my body rapidly changed in a matter of weeks.
I was much more informed and well aware of why she was concerned, but everything I had was natural. She just did not know about my dancing.
A day came, where mother was out with Khalid for a check up, I believe. It was an advantage for me, I headed straight to my room, got into shorts, socks, and my dancing began. The sound through the headphones was so high, it made me focus more on what the song would mean.
Suddenly, grandmother came in. Her shock of me being in shorts, dancing, it made her furious. She came in and pulled my hair, she slapped me and sat down crying on my bed. I was on my knees, looking down in humiliation, I Did not even have the guts to make eye contact, my hands covering my ears, her crying pierced through my heart.
She came off the bed, put my head to her chest. All I heard was her heart beats, tears came down my face. I never wished for her to see me like this, this was never my intention..
Cursed With Beauty (1)
It was midsummer, the time where all the pool parties and events already happened, most people were on their holiday trips, and summer began to become a bore.We finally settled in the new house, and we haven't traveled because mother was a month away of giving birth to a baby boy.
I woke up to the smell of oud and henna, it was dawn. My grandmother Hamdah wanted to me get up and pray.
"athan my darling, get up and pray." my grandmother said with the most gentle voice and patted my back twice to make sure I was up. I got up, prayed, then jumped into my warm bed.
I pulled out my phone, opened twitter, and went through my timeline. I received a mention from someone I did not know. It was nothing surprising, but what disturbed me was the times this person insisted on replying to me. I came up with the conclusion that he must've been new to twitter, but just to make sure I sent his username to Joojoo.
Joojoo was one of my bestfriends, her calmness and ability to keep a secret made her very popular through out the school, she knows too much about everyone, but even though we tried, she never spoke about others. She remained calm and quiet always.
I put my phone away, and fell asleep. The loud sound of the alarm woke me up at 9 a.m. Though it was summer, waking up at 10 was like waking up at 1 in the afternoon to grandmother.
I jumped out, and immediately checked my phone.
Joojoo's reply:
"His name's Saif, he attends our school and is going to 11th grade. Good marks, fluent english. a bit of a trouble maker, be careful. It's been said that he usually gets what he wants one way or another."
I got that he followed me for recognizing we attended the same school, but what I didn't understand was, what was he up to?
I woke up to the smell of oud and henna, it was dawn. My grandmother Hamdah wanted to me get up and pray.
"athan my darling, get up and pray." my grandmother said with the most gentle voice and patted my back twice to make sure I was up. I got up, prayed, then jumped into my warm bed.
I pulled out my phone, opened twitter, and went through my timeline. I received a mention from someone I did not know. It was nothing surprising, but what disturbed me was the times this person insisted on replying to me. I came up with the conclusion that he must've been new to twitter, but just to make sure I sent his username to Joojoo.
Joojoo was one of my bestfriends, her calmness and ability to keep a secret made her very popular through out the school, she knows too much about everyone, but even though we tried, she never spoke about others. She remained calm and quiet always.
I put my phone away, and fell asleep. The loud sound of the alarm woke me up at 9 a.m. Though it was summer, waking up at 10 was like waking up at 1 in the afternoon to grandmother.
I jumped out, and immediately checked my phone.
Joojoo's reply:
"His name's Saif, he attends our school and is going to 11th grade. Good marks, fluent english. a bit of a trouble maker, be careful. It's been said that he usually gets what he wants one way or another."
I got that he followed me for recognizing we attended the same school, but what I didn't understand was, what was he up to?
Author's note:
I'll powder my flawless face, curl my long lashes, and pucker up after applying the complementing red lips. But as hard as I try hiding the truth of who I am, my reflection in the mirror will only remind me of the things I've done.
Since everything else has failed, here I am to admit about the times I've slipped, the times I've fell, knowing I might make more mistakes ,but I've not yet drowned. Now I live to tell the exaggerated tale of truth, imagination, and future dreams, all in hopes of shattering all that had remained of me.
- Amal
Since everything else has failed, here I am to admit about the times I've slipped, the times I've fell, knowing I might make more mistakes ,but I've not yet drowned. Now I live to tell the exaggerated tale of truth, imagination, and future dreams, all in hopes of shattering all that had remained of me.
- Amal
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